Celine:
I mean, I always feel like a freak because I'm never able to move on like...this! You know.
People just have an affair, or even entire relationships.
They break up and they forget!
They move on like they would have changed a brand of cereal!
I feel I was never able to forget anyone I've been with.
Because each person have you know, specific qualities.
You can never replace anyone.
What is lost is lost.
Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me.
I haven't fully recovered.

Like I'm obsessed with little things.
Maybe I'm crazy, but when I was a little girl, my mom told me that I was always late to school.
One day she followed me to see why. I was looking at chestnuts falling from the trees, rolling on the sidewalk, or ants, crossing the road. The way a leaf casts a shadow on a tree trunk.
Little things.
I think it's the same with people.
I see in them little details, so specific to each other, that move me, and that I miss, and will always miss. You can never replace anyone, because everyone is made of such beautiful specific details.

I didn't log out from Blogger!! But what happens really if you don't??

Today I had planned to take advantage of my class-free morning by taking a jog round the neighbourhood before getting a head start on the studying. Both of which I somehow failed to accomplish. Yes surprising, indeed. Well I started jogging and then at about the 10 minute mark my lungs couldn't take in anymore cold air so I walked. And then the lactic acid started building up which was around the same time that I started cursing myself for ever being so naive to think I could accomplish such an impossible task. I laugh at my sad life.

Anyways, I collected my ticket today! I can't wait (: Can we skip the whole exam thing and go to er, well, the holiday thing? K, thanks.

- Alone at home. Abg Ridwan and kakak have head off to Mount Gambia.

- Spent the earlier part of the evening washing dishes and singing along to the songs that were playing through my lappie which I have now decided to call Potato. (Do NOT question my decisions) So I'm officially introducing him to the internet community. Alright Internet community, meet Fred Potato.

- Mum called to check on me. I miss her. Happy Mothers' Day, Ma <3

- Ended the call and proceeded to make dinner to be eaten in front of the tele to catch... MASTERCHEF. Recipe for obesity! (:

- Mood uplifted.

- I should add in the time down to the very last second.

Bones, sinking like stones,
All that we fought for,
And homes, places we've grown,
All of us are done for.

And we live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world,

Bones, sinking like stones,
All that we fought for,
And homes, places we've grown,
All of us are done for.

And we live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do,
We live in a beautiful world.

Oh, all that I know,
There's nothing here to run from,
Cause, yeah, everybody here's got somebody to lean on.

Reasons why missing home gets a little less hard:

1. There may be a million and one things to get done and sometimes it gets so hard you feel like you want to shut it all out. But if you brace yourself and know in your heart that it's within the human capacity to be able to withstand whatever it is you're going through, you'll survive. We're all living proof that YOU WILL survive (: Plus, I'm beginning to acknowledge that I like what I'm doing right now. It's truth and knowledge. How can I decline?

2. It's beautiful here. I won't deny that. No it's not white supremacy or brain-washing talking. The landscapes are breathtaking. Everytime I get a little break or a few minutes before lectures, I'd walk slowly to the theatre to steal glances at the horizon from the top of the campus.

3. FOOD. enough said.
I'm getting fatter. That I'm not proud of. Raw products here are so good and fresh, it makes your cooking taste so good. Well, on top of that my sister's a pretty good cook so...

4. The pace of life here is just nice.

5. People and experiences I would never have had if I had just been stuck in my own little bubble.

6. I've got my sister and my brother-in-law. It felt like I was missing her for a huge bulk of my teen years. And this somehow makes up for it. And for that, dear God, I am thankful (: